








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 701 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2357 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1093 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 716 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1248 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,781 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | McHenny | 44% | 81 |
| #7 | 🖤Dreamerr🖤 | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | Gilad | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | McHigh | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | McDREAMY1_1 | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McNoob | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Hurb | 7 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Gilad | 6 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | McHenny | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | 🖤Dreamerr🖤 | 4 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McHenny | 292 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | McNoob | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | McDREAMY1_1 | 147 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gilad | 92 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ren | 65 | 0.15 | 1 min |





