








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 722 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




154 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7046 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6733 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7657 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5146 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,775 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SqueeK ❤ | 49% | 91 |
| #2 | Hurb | 44% | 43 |
| #3 | McHenny | 42% | 280 |
| #4 | McNoob | 40% | 324 |
| #5 | McHigh | 34% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SqueeK ❤ | 49% | 91 |
| #2 | Hurb | 44% | 43 |
| #3 | McHenny | 42% | 280 |
| #4 | McNoob | 40% | 324 |
| #5 | McHigh | 34% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McNoob | 27 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | McHenny | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Hurb | 14 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | SqueeK ❤ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | McHigh | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McHenny | 944 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | McNoob | 400 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | SqueeK ❤ | 155 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hurb | 62 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | McHigh | 61 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hurb | +7.17 | 94 | 41 |
| #2 | McNoob | +1.43 | 52 | 52 |
| #3 | SqueeK ❤ | +1.01 | 39 | 55 |
| #4 | McDREAMY1_1 | -2.55 | 10 | 51 |
| #5 | McHenny | -2.68 | 16 | 60 |





