








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3042 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3302 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1626 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1153 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,117,479 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigjuicepoop | 54% | 41 |
| #2 | ッ soldierguy | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | ilubabs | 48% | 64 |
| #4 | California High Speed Rail | 48% | 164 |
| #5 | 𝓐𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓪❤ | 45% | 246 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ッ soldierguy | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | ilubabs | 48% | 64 |
| #4 | California High Speed Rail | 48% | 164 |
| #5 | 𝓐𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓪❤ | 45% | 246 |
| #6 | Un2RWS1 | 45% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓐𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓪❤ | 30 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Un2RWS1 | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | bigjuicepoop | 10 | 0.0136 |
| #4 | California High Speed Rail | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ッ soldierguy | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | California High Speed Rail | 754 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Un2RWS1 | 603 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | ッ soldierguy | 433 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | 𝓐𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓪❤ | 177 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | bigjuicepoop | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enchanted Pee | +1.28 | 57 | 45 |
| #2 | Un2RWS1 | +1.16 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | ッ soldierguy | +1.12 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | 𝓐𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓪❤ | -0.65 | 33 | 29 |
| #5 | bigjuicepoop | -1.24 | 55 | 32 |





