








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1854 | 15% |
| Smokes | 643 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 4132 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 5611 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,220,748 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Morot | 56% | 77 |
| #2 | ☣Plankton☣ | 54% | 104 |
| #3 | Severinツ | 49% | 74 |
| #4 | Vackra Birgitta | 48% | 181 |
| #5 | Kekke | 47% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ☣有毒的♿2,0☣ | 46% | 71 |
| #7 | ุุ | 45% | 75 |
| #8 | Gabrielsson ☃ | 45% | 421 |
| #9 | 🎂bagarburman🧁 | 40% | 121 |
| #10 | horunge | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kekke | 57 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Gabrielsson ☃ | 21 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | horunge | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | ุุ | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | No Morot | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabrielsson ☃ | 969 | 0.11 | 28 min |
| #2 | ุุ | 276 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kekke | 268 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | ☣Plankton☣ | 251 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | No Morot | 132 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Morot | +7.86 | 76 | 44 |
| #2 | Gabrielsson ☃ | +4.43 | 60 | 68 |
| #3 | ☣Plankton☣ | +2.79 | 56 | 58 |
| #4 | Severinツ | +1.78 | 62 | 58 |
| #5 | ุุ | +0.23 | 27 | 71 |





