








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 202 | 6% |
| Smokes | 74 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 1222 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1832 | 55% |
Our logs show you have wasted $895,589 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ā£Plankton⣠| 56% | 62 |
| #2 | No Morot | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | ā£ęęÆēāæ2,0⣠| 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Kekke | 41% | 51 |
| #5 | Dora the Explorer | 40% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ąøøąøø | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | Vackra Birgitta | 38% | 96 |
| #9 | Severinć | 37% | 46 |
| #10 | Gabrielsson ā | 35% | 117 |
| #11 | Sparven98 | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kekke | 13 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Gabrielsson ā | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Severinć | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Dora the Explorer | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Vackra Birgitta | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabrielsson ā | 248 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | ā£Plankton⣠| 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Severinć | 64 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kekke | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ąøøąøø | 63 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | No Morot | +9.05 | 70 | 46 |
| #2 | Gabrielsson ā | +5.32 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Severinć | +3.21 | 70 | 56 |
| #4 | ā£Plankton⣠| +2.86 | 62 | 55 |
| #5 | ā£Karlsson⣠| +2.13 | 58 | 56 |





