








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 577 matches | ||
| Esplay | 181 matches | 1,897 | |
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13948 | 32% |
| Smokes | 11361 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8052 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 9817 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,259,948 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥48kg_H4wkeye♥ | 65% | 55 |
| #2 | LA Mellor | 58% | 125 |
| #3 | bWiLLzzzzzz | 52% | 99 |
| #4 | XantoZ | 51% | 230 |
| #5 | nnexi | 50% | 319 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bWiLLzzzzzz | 52% | 99 |
| #4 | XantoZ | 51% | 230 |
| #5 | nnexi | 50% | 319 |
| #6 | Dog Days | 49% | 84 |
| #7 | Caladolen ☆ | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nnexi | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | XantoZ | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | LA Mellor | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | bWiLLzzzzzz | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Dog Days | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nnexi | 614 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | bWiLLzzzzzz | 589 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #3 | Dog Days | 350 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | XantoZ | 252 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | LA Mellor | 107 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥48kg_H4wkeye♥ | +2.78 | 79 | 61 |
| #2 | bWiLLzzzzzz | +2.42 | 71 | 80 |
| #3 | Dog Days | +1.74 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | ekk0 | +0.38 | 68 | 73 |
| #5 | nnexi | -0.05 | 76 | 67 |





