








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 577 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 301 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Esplay | 29 matches | 1,663 | |
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3101 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4092 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4109 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3044 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,049 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA Mellor | 62% | 63 |
| #2 | ekk0 | 51% | 230 |
| #3 | nnexi | 50% | 323 |
| #4 | Dog Days | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Caladolen ☆ | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA Mellor | 62% | 63 |
| #2 | ekk0 | 51% | 230 |
| #3 | nnexi | 50% | 323 |
| #4 | Dog Days | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | Caladolen ☆ | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nnexi | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ekk0 | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Dog Days | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | LA Mellor | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ekk0 | 907 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | nnexi | 675 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | Dog Days | 162 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | LA Mellor | 55 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Caladolen ☆ | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dog Days | +1.20 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | ekk0 | +0.99 | 69 | 74 |
| #3 | nnexi | +0.33 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | LA Mellor | -0.35 | 74 | 56 |
| #5 | XantoZ | -0.52 | 54 | 65 |





