








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4002 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2448 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4204 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3380 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,578 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Alexis Des | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | suishimi82 | 42% | 24 |
| #8 | Cadavre Mort | 38% | 26 |
| #9 | Escanor | 35% | 26 |
| #10 | Okias | 32% | 47 |





