








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 604 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1264 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4200 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2256 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3155 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,164,194 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3806 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kamik | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | Bleusealord | 62% | 300 |
| #3 | VINS | 61% | 56 |
| #4 | Miasmane | 58% | 65 |
| #5 | Kezz | 58% | 86 |





