








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 449 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5555 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6440 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3614 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4520 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,481 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mattepatte | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | XZ | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | DUNDER Ã…KE/ | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Sandalen | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | FreezingArc | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | DUNDER Ã…KE/ | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Sandalen | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | FreezingArc | 50% | 32 |
| #6 | Ea | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | sIW ♿ | 44% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandalen | 8 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | Ea | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | sIW ♿ | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | DUNDER Ã…KE/ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Mattepatte | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sIW ♿ | 187 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | DUNDER Ã…KE/ | 81 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sandalen | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mattepatte | 55 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | XZ | 51 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DUNDER Ã…KE/ | +4.99 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Mattepatte | +2.76 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | 💸DunderÅke💸 | +2.03 | 45 | 62 |
| #4 | Sandalen | +1.47 | 55 | 66 |
| #5 | FreezingArc | -0.43 | 32 | 64 |





