








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4680 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3961 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3630 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2982 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,302 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bravčová hlava | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Sh3li | 59% | 95 |
| #3 | CuckmySock | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Aspect | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Gandalf the Black | 47% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Aspect | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Gandalf the Black | 47% | 131 |
| #6 | BEIN | 44% | 43 |
| #7 | FatJesus | 44% | 101 |
| #8 | Spraity^_- | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh3li | 15 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Gandalf the Black | 13 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | FatJesus | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | CuckmySock | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | BEIN | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf the Black | 697 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | FatJesus | 266 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Sh3li | 217 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | BEIN | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aspect | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf the Black | +1.96 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Sh3li | +1.48 | 70 | 62 |
| #3 | Inked | +1.10 | 68 | 74 |
| #4 | Spraity^_- | +0.99 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | Bravčová hlava | -0.83 | 71 | 57 |





