








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1138 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2840 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3086 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,433 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 598 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sh3li | 52% | 130 |
| #2 | Sheli | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | Gandalf the Black | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | CuckmySock | 50% | 100 |
| #5 | Adma | 49% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheli | 33 | 0.0206 |
| #2 | Sh3li | 20 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Inked | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Gandalf the Black | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Adma | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gandalf the Black | 599 | 0.27 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sh3li | 356 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | CuckmySock | 314 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | Sheli | 296 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Inked | 296 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheli | +5.62 | 77 | 73 |
| #2 | Sh3li | +3.11 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | Gandalf the Black | +1.98 | 71 | 75 |
| #4 | Inked | +0.60 | 59 | 72 |
| #5 | FatJesus | -0.23 | 72 | 68 |





