








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1673 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 221 matches | 1,822 | |
| Premier | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3679 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3271 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2708 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3197 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,379 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfred q:-) | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | gobi downs | 59% | 74 |
| #3 | Jonk | 59% | 56 |
| #4 | sauronlol | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | rövsmör | 54% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brunk | +2.04 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | sauronlol | +1.88 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | rövsmör | +1.64 | 63 | 70 |
| #4 | gobi downs | +1.20 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | Jonk | +1.01 | 76 | 63 |





