








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 231 matches | 1,747 | |
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4975 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4894 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4282 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4658 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,101,416 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1083 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfred q:-) | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | gobi downs | 59% | 96 |
| #3 | Jonk | 59% | 73 |
| #4 | sauronlol | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | Brunk | 54% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brunk | +2.15 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | Harambe<3- | +2.11 | 78 | 72 |
| #3 | sauronlol | +1.94 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | rövsmör | +1.46 | 62 | 70 |
| #5 | Jonk | +0.91 | 78 | 61 |





