








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2845 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3244 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1363 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2388 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,066,622 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sonkath | 77% | 30 |
| #2 | 하나마루 | 56% | 57 |
| #3 | s1mple | 55% | 165 |
| #4 | .LeHe | 54% | 96 |
| #5 | Mad | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WERT | 22 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | s1mple | 20 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | 하나마루 | 14 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | .LeHe | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | sonkath | 5 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WERT | 1549 | 0.24 | 35 min |
| #2 | .LeHe | 822 | 0.43 | 15 min |
| #3 | s1mple | 398 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | 하나마루 | 318 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #5 | ACAね | 275 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʜʏᴇᴏɴɪ | +4.13 | 92 | 42 |
| #2 | 하나마루 | +3.90 | 88 | 58 |
| #3 | sonkath | +1.42 | 78 | 49 |
| #4 | Mad | +1.27 | 78 | 59 |
| #5 | WERT | +0.98 | 65 | 59 |





