








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 926 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 479 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7006 | 24% |
| Smokes | 10325 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 8036 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4249 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,501,402 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 208 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lebron James | 60% | 43 |
| #2 | Fuji | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | SL1M | 55% | 53 |
| #4 | Jim Rob | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | Gliss | 52% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gliss | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Lebron James | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | GoatTaint | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | OldMac | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Jim Rob | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoatTaint | 999 | 0.33 | 28 min |
| #2 | OldMac | 686 | 0.29 | 16 min |
| #3 | Gliss | 398 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jim Rob | 347 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #5 | Hoff | 203 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gliss | +1.30 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | Pi (Azrael) | +1.24 | 62 | 39 |
| #3 | ARC | +1.15 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Jim Rob | +1.13 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | littleboyian | +0.37 | 69 | 58 |





