








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 227 | 41% |
| Smokes | 172 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 84 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 70 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,967 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beelayy | 35% | 43 |
| #2 | Chase | 35% | 26 |
| #3 | ILikeSpuds | 29% | 45 |
| #4 | JustRippley | 28% | 25 |
| #5 | synbol | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Chase | 35% | 26 |
| #3 | ILikeSpuds | 29% | 45 |
| #4 | JustRippley | 28% | 25 |
| #5 | synbol | 28% | 25 |
| #6 | Yaneth | 25% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILikeSpuds | 9 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Chase | 6 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Yaneth | 5 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Beelayy | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | synbol | 5 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | synbol | 130 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | Yaneth | 128 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | ILikeSpuds | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | JustRippley | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Beelayy | 28 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | synbol | +2.70 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | Chase | +1.84 | 69 | 32 |
| #3 | Beelayy | +1.62 | 47 | 26 |
| #4 | JustRippley | -0.28 | 56 | 51 |
| #5 | Yaneth | -0.53 | 56 | 69 |





