








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 321 | 17% |
| Smokes | 556 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 405 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 582 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,113 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustRippley | 44% | 50 |
| #2 | Chase | 44% | 71 |
| #3 | Yaneth | 40% | 162 |
| #4 | synbol | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | ILikeSpuds | 38% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Chase | 44% | 71 |
| #3 | Yaneth | 40% | 162 |
| #4 | synbol | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | ILikeSpuds | 38% | 121 |
| #6 | That Movie Guy | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaneth | 20 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ILikeSpuds | 18 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Chase | 16 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | That Movie Guy | 15 | 0.0181 |
| #5 | synbol | 5 | 0.0198 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yaneth | 516 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | ILikeSpuds | 202 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | JustRippley | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Chase | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | synbol | 81 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | synbol | +3.72 | 69 | 50 |
| #2 | Chase | +1.03 | 71 | 37 |
| #3 | Beelayy | +0.19 | 45 | 26 |
| #4 | Yaneth | -0.23 | 49 | 69 |
| #5 | JustRippley | -0.74 | 47 | 53 |





