








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1415 | 27% |
| Smokes | 821 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1763 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1176 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,841 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | javielweno | 51% | 47 |
| #2 | LucÃa SÃĄnchez | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Bro, my cat is fat | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | Ambipour | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | PichugÞelo | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PichugÞelo | 46% | 24 |
| #6 | GG ALLIN | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | Lola Mento | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | â âģâąĪÄÅāļŋâģâą âŪâąŦâģ | 43% | 87 |
| #9 | Dr. Jibiri | 21% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ambipour | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Bro, my cat is fat | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | â âģâąĪÄÅāļŋâģâą âŪâąŦâģ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | PichugÞelo | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | javielweno | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | â âģâąĪÄÅāļŋâģâą âŪâąŦâģ | 303 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Bro, my cat is fat | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lola Mento | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ambipour | 101 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | javielweno | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PichugÞelo | +4.06 | 50 | 47 |
| #2 | Bro, my cat is fat | +3.02 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | â ððļâðŧðâ | +2.26 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | LucÃa SÃĄnchez | +1.98 | 82 | 40 |
| #5 | Ambipour | -0.94 | 43 | 49 |





