








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,711 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1254 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1804 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2786 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1867 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,056,024 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goku Madridista | 55% | 38 |
| #2 | ☠𝕊𝔸ℝ𝔻𝕀☠ | 48% | 89 |
| #3 | ☠₳ⱤĐł฿₳Ⱡ₮Ⱬ₳ | 45% | 134 |
| #4 | Bro, my cat is fat | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Lola Mento | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bro, my cat is fat | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Lola Mento | 44% | 39 |
| #6 | ⭕⃤-🔥El ojo torcido | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | Dr. Jibiri | 38% | 52 |
| #8 | GG ALLIN | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☠₳ⱤĐł฿₳Ⱡ₮Ⱬ₳ | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Goku Madridista | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | ☠𝕊𝔸ℝ𝔻𝕀☠ | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤-🔥El ojo torcido | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Dr. Jibiri | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☠₳ⱤĐł฿₳Ⱡ₮Ⱬ₳ | 655 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | ☠𝕊𝔸ℝ𝔻𝕀☠ | 138 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lola Mento | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Goku Madridista | 74 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bro, my cat is fat | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bro, my cat is fat | +2.56 | 66 | 58 |
| #2 | ☠𝕊𝔸ℝ𝔻𝕀☠ | +1.46 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤-🔥El ojo torcido | +0.91 | 23 | 35 |
| #4 | Ambipour | +0.23 | 50 | 48 |
| #5 | Goku Madridista | -0.80 | 20 | 44 |





