








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 330 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4482 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5641 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5683 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3459 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2946 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,794,165 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ༺𝚃𝔇𝚃༻ Leͥgeͣnͫd | 47% | 142 |
| #12 | GG ALLIN | 46% | 192 |
| #13 | Ambipour | 44% | 39 |
| #14 | ☠𝕊𝔸ℝ𝔻𝕀☠ | 43% | 42 |
| #15 | Pichugüelo | 40% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pichugüelo | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | javielweno | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Dr. Jibiri | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | ༺𝚃𝔇𝚃༻ Leͥgeͣnͫd | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ☠₳ⱤĐł฿₳Ⱡ₮Ⱬ₳ | 7 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bro, my cat is fat | 320 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | GG ALLIN | 315 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | ☠₳ⱤĐł฿₳Ⱡ₮Ⱬ₳ | 278 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | javielweno | 264 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pichugüelo | 236 | 0.06 | 5 min |





