








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 116 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1758 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1061 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2529 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1503 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,365 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓒𝓻𝔂𝓹 | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Lank | 48% | 205 |
| #3 | Dusty | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | Thragg | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | BigDoink | 38% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dusty | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | Thragg | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | BigDoink | 38% | 68 |
| #6 | raider2018 | 37% | 60 |
| #7 | Chawn | 34% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lank | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | BigDoink | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Chawn | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Thragg | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | raider2018 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lank | 265 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | BigDoink | 260 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | raider2018 | 146 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Chawn | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dusty | 57 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gavin's Greens | +1.56 | 72 | 52 |
| #2 | Thragg | +0.73 | 82 | 51 |
| #3 | Lank | +0.32 | 62 | 49 |
| #4 | 𝓒𝓻𝔂𝓹 | -1.35 | 72 | 37 |
| #5 | Dusty | -2.07 | 48 | 41 |





