








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 104 | 17% |
| Smokes | 258 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 175 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 77 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $161,184 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigDoink | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | 𝓒𝓻𝔂𝓹 | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Chawn | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Lank | 47% | 43 |
| #5 | Gavin's Greens | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝓒𝓻𝔂𝓹 | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Chawn | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Lank | 47% | 43 |
| #5 | Gavin's Greens | 46% | 39 |
| #6 | raider2018 | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chawn | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | BigDoink | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigDoink | 64 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | Lank | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gavin's Greens | 55 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | raider2018 | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chawn | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gavin's Greens | +3.91 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | Lank | +0.77 | 65 | 53 |
| #3 | 𝓒𝓻𝔂𝓹 | -0.38 | 78 | 40 |
| #4 | Dusty | -1.56 | 50 | 38 |
| #5 | BigDoink | -3.50 | 39 | 52 |





