








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 433 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 476 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




323 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 370 | 25% |
| Smokes | 160 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 410 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 526 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,617 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poop demon | 50% | 42 |
| #2 | LapisLazuli | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | Keyo | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | keyツ | 45% | 58 |
| #5 | printer | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Keyo | 46% | 35 |
| #4 | keyツ | 45% | 58 |
| #5 | printer | 43% | 35 |
| #6 | Chicken Kiev ℗ | 39% | 72 |
| #7 | Boxy | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keyツ | 32 | 0.0295 |
| #2 | poop demon | 20 | 0.0296 |
| #3 | printer | 9 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | LapisLazuli | 7 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Boxy | 6 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxy | 127 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Chicken Kiev ℗ | 77 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | poop demon | 75 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | keyツ | 24 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | printer | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyo | +8.23 | 71 | 24 |
| #2 | F1NNTANYL | +2.16 | 78 | 5 |
| #3 | Boxy | +1.51 | 32 | 32 |
| #4 | poop demon | +1.29 | 73 | 20 |
| #5 | keyツ | -0.67 | 55 | 21 |





