








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3472 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4403 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2603 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3461 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,123,527 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PORMESTARI | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Avancer | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Froxter | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Cariox ❟❛❟ | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Manatser | 3 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avancer | 251 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | PORMESTARI | 243 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cariox ❟❛❟ | 203 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #4 | Banskq | 140 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Froxter | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |





