








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 309 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2796 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3777 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3257 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2949 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,675 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eellma | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | nahkisssss | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Hansooolo | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Elzi87 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Froxter | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eellma | 343 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | nahkisssss | 334 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hansooolo | 217 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Cariox ❟❛❟ | 183 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | RiksX | 169 | 0.25 | 4 min |





