








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2614 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2567 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3082 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1742 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $574,922 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny'S | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | NT2J | 63% | 46 |
| #3 | MeatSpix | 62% | 130 |
| #4 | Azu(Bazz) | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Мdz' | 51% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Мdz' | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Azu(Bazz) | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | MeatSpix | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Jojovador | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Kenny'S | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeatSpix | 636 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | Мdz' | 332 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Azu(Bazz) | 218 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kenny'S | 142 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #5 | SneakyBcsgo | 95 | 0.21 | 2 min |





