








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4026 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3897 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3485 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3042 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $809,400 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny'S | 55% | 55 |
| #2 | Jojovador | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Mac Poulet 74 | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | NT2J | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Anonyme Mouse | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeatSpix | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Anonyme Mouse | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Jojovador | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Мdz' | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Kenny'S | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MeatSpix | 551 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | Kenny'S | 262 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | Anonyme Mouse | 176 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Мdz' | 168 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mac Poulet 74 | 102 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CH4KAL | +5.16 | 83 | 50 |
| #2 | Anonyme Mouse | +3.99 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | MeatSpix | +3.82 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | Kenny'S | +2.39 | 70 | 64 |
| #5 | Mac Poulet 74 | +2.09 | 82 | 69 |





