








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4612 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3733 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2818 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2891 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,006,604 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 2 ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ PIPAS | 43% | 166 |
| #8 | Pr1mal | 42% | 67 |
| #9 | Shake | 40% | 182 |
| #10 | 0ท3 sн0τ ™ | 39% | 38 |
| #11 | VonF | 33% | 33 |





