








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1048 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 361 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6128 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3922 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3988 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4015 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,209,141 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2 ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ PIPAS | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Shake | 52% | 186 |
| #3 | 𝓜𝓪𝔁1 | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | ☯ Sensei | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Parasita | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2 ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ PIPAS | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Shake | 52% | 186 |
| #3 | 𝓜𝓪𝔁1 | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | ☯ Sensei | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Parasita | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shake | 21 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | 𝓜𝓪𝔁1 | 13 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | Parasita | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | 2 ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ PIPAS | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shake | 901 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | 𝓜𝓪𝔁1 | 163 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Parasita | 98 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | 2 ⚞ ᴥ ⚟ PIPAS | 68 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☯ Sensei | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shake | +2.28 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | 𝓜𝓪𝔁1 | +1.07 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | 0ท3 sн0τ ™ | +0.94 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | Parasita | -0.62 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | ☯ Sensei | -1.17 | 65 | 47 |





