










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 730 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3226 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2822 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2519 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 465 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,570,022 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DIEU LEI LO MO | 56% | 32 |
| #2 | PDUB | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | ETA? | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | .Damn | 48% | 110 |
| #5 | XM1014 | 48% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | .Dope | 44% | 43 |
| #10 | TOP OOTER | 40% | 136 |
| #11 | Sky | 39% | 38 |
| #12 | Ily | 33% | 27 |
| #13 | prettypunaniamanda | 30% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XM1014 | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | .Damn | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | LabubuPapi | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Hezi | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | .Dope | 5 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hezi | 348 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | 1 TAPP YO BITCH | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sky | 92 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | DIEU LEI LO MO | 90 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | PDUB | 89 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 TAPP YO BITCH | +1.11 | 76 | 40 |
| #2 | Hezi | +0.92 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | ANCHOR | +0.63 | 66 | 48 |
| #4 | .Damn | +0.22 | 52 | 39 |
| #5 | XM1014 | -0.02 | 63 | 30 |





