








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3112 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4425 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2491 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3454 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,134,241 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASG | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Corn | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | iCe | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Sad Butter | 44% | 293 |
| #5 | barrymacoqiner | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sad Butter | 539 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | bong | 112 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | barrymacoqiner | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Corn | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | ASG | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASG | +1.98 | 69 | 58 |
| #2 | Corn | +1.49 | 54 | 57 |
| #3 | Sad Butter | +1.48 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | iCe | +1.14 | 72 | 70 |
| #5 | barrymacoqiner | -0.69 | 58 | 36 |





