








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 554 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3372 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5407 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4774 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2622 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,802,196 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 475 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monex | 47% | 178 |
| #2 | I'm Sawry | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Corn | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Sad Butter | 40% | 150 |
| #5 | Skeletor | 32% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monex | 47% | 178 |
| #2 | I'm Sawry | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Corn | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | Sad Butter | 40% | 150 |
| #5 | Skeletor | 32% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sad Butter | 41 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Skeletor | 13 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Monex | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | I'm Sawry | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Corn | 5 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monex | 435 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Sad Butter | 328 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Skeletor | 132 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Corn | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | I'm Sawry | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corn | +2.18 | 57 | 54 |
| #2 | Monex | +0.52 | 63 | 37 |
| #3 | bong | +0.51 | 52 | 51 |
| #4 | Sad Butter | +0.32 | 69 | 43 |
| #5 | I'm Sawry | -1.32 | 55 | 15 |





