










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 27% |
| Smokes | 793 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1289 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1491 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $388,234 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π―πΌππ»ππ. | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | DOREMI | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | NepotuP4K | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | β’Tinu' Augustinu'β€ | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | xzrep. | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π―πΌππ»ππ. | 260 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | β’Tinu' Augustinu'β€ | 203 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | DOREMI | 138 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | xzrep. | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | NepotuP4K | 100 | 0.12 | 3 min |





