








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 931 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 387 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6174 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4483 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1823 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3201 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,352,724 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2633 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1nh | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Bing | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | trymha | 56% | 108 |
| #4 | Ori - Aka Onkel Knull | 56% | 99 |
| #5 | лучший ноб | 54% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1nh | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Bing | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | trymha | 56% | 108 |
| #4 | Ori - Aka Onkel Knull | 56% | 99 |
| #5 | лучший ноб | 54% | 301 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | лучший ноб | 38 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Ori - Aka Onkel Knull | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | trymha | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | D1nh | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Bing | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | лучший ноб | 513 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Ori - Aka Onkel Knull | 373 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | trymha | 224 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | D1nh | 209 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bing | 99 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D1nh | +3.27 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | donJuan- | +2.30 | 90 | 48 |
| #3 | лучший ноб | -0.04 | 74 | 45 |
| #4 | Bing | -0.20 | 61 | 59 |
| #5 | Ori - Aka Onkel Knull | -0.28 | 69 | 64 |





