








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1738 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 564 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10931 | 27% |
| Smokes | 10758 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8574 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 10612 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,027,383 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champagnepapi | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | ElMarkano | 50% | 862 |
| #3 | Douchebag | 50% | 468 |
| #4 | Jerry | 48% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | champagnepapi | 57% | 56 |
| #2 | ElMarkano | 50% | 862 |
| #3 | Douchebag | 50% | 468 |
| #4 | Jerry | 48% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElMarkano | 22 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Jerry | 19 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Douchebag | 15 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | champagnepapi | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElMarkano | 1766 | 0.10 | 43 min |
| #2 | Douchebag | 1217 | 0.13 | 33 min |
| #3 | Jerry | 540 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | champagnepapi | 185 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerry | +1.44 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | Douchebag | +0.81 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | Simpel | -0.36 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | ElMarkano | -0.62 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | champagnepapi | -0.66 | 73 | 43 |





