








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 298 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2434 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2056 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2425 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2199 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,878 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 601 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpel | 23 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | champagnepapi | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Douchebag | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ElMarkano | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Kjellxz | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simpel | 623 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | ElMarkano | 347 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Douchebag | 219 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | champagnepapi | 207 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kjellxz | 73 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kjellxz | +2.52 | 93 | 50 |
| #2 | Jerry | +2.06 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | Douchebag | +1.00 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | Simpel | +0.02 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | champagnepapi | -0.07 | 72 | 47 |





