








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 170 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1029 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1048 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 406 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 961 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $901,409 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkzz | 52% | 88 |
| #2 | The Manjamble | 36% | 320 |
| #3 | ecstaticbro | 36% | 320 |
| #4 | Dr. Doge | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | scout | 33% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scout | 58 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | The Manjamble | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | deanie | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ecstaticbro | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Getgo | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scout | 975 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #2 | The Manjamble | 389 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hawkzz | 255 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | ecstaticbro | 207 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | deanie | 171 | 0.10 | 4 min |





