








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2691 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4312 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2201 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2687 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,216,035 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 231 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawkzz | 52% | 232 |
| #2 | Hibber | 49% | 51 |
| #3 | SuperSpidey | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | ecstaticbro | 41% | 494 |
| #5 | Dr. Doge | 40% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scout | 80 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | deanie | 11 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | bigmeatyclawz | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Hawkzz | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ecstaticbro | 6 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scout | 1692 | 0.20 | 42 min |
| #2 | Hawkzz | 639 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | ecstaticbro | 355 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | bigmeatyclawz | 328 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | deanie | 314 | 0.11 | 8 min |





