








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 365 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1045 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 317 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 367 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $126,071 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | deanie | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | The Manjamble | 37% | 160 |
| #5 | ecstaticbro | 36% | 163 |
| #6 | scout | 35% | 135 |
| #7 | bigmeatyclawz | 28% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scout | 549 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | The Manjamble | 250 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | ecstaticbro | 126 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | bigmeatyclawz | 108 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hawkzz | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |





