








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 238 matches | ||
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




148 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1318 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3087 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2510 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2107 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,322 of utility $32 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akh | 45% | 302 |
| #2 | Negev | 44% | 52 |
| #3 | ambassador | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Free Daquavius | 42% | 398 |
| #5 | Rosa Parks | 38% | 323 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akh | 45% | 302 |
| #2 | Negev | 44% | 52 |
| #3 | ambassador | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | Free Daquavius | 42% | 398 |
| #5 | Rosa Parks | 38% | 323 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akh | 149 | 0.0272 |
| #2 | Free Daquavius | 138 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | Rosa Parks | 100 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | Negev | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | ambassador | 5 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Free Daquavius | 798 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #2 | Akh | 274 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Rosa Parks | 109 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | ambassador | 90 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Negev | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ambassador | +9.81 | 94 | 68 |
| #2 | Akh | +6.85 | 89 | 48 |
| #3 | Free Daquavius | +2.12 | 71 | 31 |
| #4 | cricks | -1.72 | 48 | 25 |
| #5 | Negev | -1.73 | 61 | 47 |





