








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1586 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 461 matches | ||
| Wingman | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 180 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




285 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2053 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1936 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4417 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4268 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,417 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Negev | 60% | 70 |
| #2 | ambassador | 58% | 60 |
| #3 | Free Daquavius | 50% | 582 |
| #4 | cricks | 45% | 302 |
| #5 | Rosa Parks | 45% | 515 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Negev | 60% | 70 |
| #2 | ambassador | 58% | 60 |
| #3 | Free Daquavius | 50% | 582 |
| #4 | cricks | 45% | 302 |
| #5 | Rosa Parks | 45% | 515 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Free Daquavius | 165 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Rosa Parks | 143 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | cricks | 78 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | ambassador | 10 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Negev | 8 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Free Daquavius | 995 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | cricks | 246 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | ambassador | 152 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Rosa Parks | 109 | 0.01 | 3 min |
| #5 | Negev | 104 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ambassador | +8.78 | 93 | 71 |
| #2 | Akh | +5.80 | 88 | 47 |
| #3 | Free Daquavius | +1.24 | 75 | 28 |
| #4 | Negev | -2.17 | 64 | 53 |
| #5 | cricks | -2.92 | 47 | 24 |





