








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5234 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3202 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4020 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2418 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,558,623 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 533 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | goner | 48% | 31 |
| #6 | FuziDaZK | 47% | 115 |
| #7 | HARLEY | 47% | 205 |
| #8 | MoDoDoy | 46% | 147 |
| #9 | xMiguex | 38% | 34 |





