








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2909 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2494 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1111 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1559 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $555,032 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ah1ko | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Viettel | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | ped 4 | 55% | 98 |
| #4 | Chuối | 52% | 54 |
| #5 | Chao ni ma | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ped 4 | 18 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Chuối | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Chao ni ma | 4 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | K-Channn | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | ah1ko | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ped 4 | 272 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Chao ni ma | 164 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chuối | 140 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tài Năng Già | 86 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #5 | Viettel | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bochi lazy but still useful | +2.25 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | Chuối | +1.79 | 82 | 51 |
| #3 | Tài Năng Già | +1.24 | 66 | 51 |
| #4 | K-Channn | +1.09 | 48 | 55 |
| #5 | Chao ni ma | +1.07 | 60 | 59 |





