








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1197 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 286 | 16% |
| Smokes | 586 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 493 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 436 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $383,823 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InstaDeath | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | DâŘk°ØmÈğĄ | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | SECURITY | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Peq | 54% | 59 |
| #5 | stromboli | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flu1x | 13 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Peq | 10 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | SECURITY | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | stromboli | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | InstaDeath | 2 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flu1x | 228 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Peq | 62 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | RawDawgginDoyle | 45 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | stromboli | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | SECURITY | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stromboli | +2.29 | 22 | 61 |
| #2 | RawDawgginDoyle | +2.28 | 17 | 31 |
| #3 | DâŘk°ØmÈğĄ | +0.87 | 33 | 49 |
| #4 | Peq | +0.29 | 55 | 38 |
| #5 | InstaDeath | -0.02 | 56 | 53 |





