








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 662 | 23% |
| Smokes | 880 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 414 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 967 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $99,053 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pilzy4Ever VR | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Surnas | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Work | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | FⓊȻⓀFⒶⒸⒺkiller | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | Stevo | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FⓊȻⓀFⒶⒸⒺkiller | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Stevo | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | Velter | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | Work | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Pilzy4Ever VR | 5 | 0.13 | 0 min |





