








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 517 | 29% |
| Smokes | 434 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 497 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 314 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $165,231 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iskineseren | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Ph1ll1p | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | Toxic Waste | 79% | 14 |
| #4 | Diddy | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | ✦ Sabr0e ✦ | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Laura | 67% | 3 |
| #8 | Laursen | 65% | 20 |
| #9 | Simp | 64% | 22 |
| #10 | Per | 63% | 41 |
| #11 | nicu | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ph1ll1p | 3 | 0.0286 |
| #2 | Per | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Simp | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Diddy | 2 | 0.0144 |
| #5 | nicu | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp | 106 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | Laursen | 70 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Per | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | nicu | 57 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vecto | 51 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diddy | +5.27 | 80 | 76 |
| #2 | nicu | +5.16 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | Laursen | +3.87 | 57 | 80 |
| #4 | Laura | +3.71 | 29 | 80 |
| #5 | ✦ Sabr0e ✦ | +2.44 | 49 | 55 |





