








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,089 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 510 | 47% |
| Smokes | 172 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 251 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 156 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $59,055 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iskineseren | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Toxic Waste | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | Vecto | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | Giga *****_- | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Per | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Giga *****_- | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | Per | 61% | 23 |
| #6 | nicu | 54% | 13 |
| #7 | Ph1ll1p | 50% | 2 |
| #8 | Simp | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giga *****_- | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Vecto | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Ph1ll1p | 1 | 0.0588 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giga *****_- | 94 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Simp | 58 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | nicu | 52 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | Per | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vecto | 39 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nicu | +4.61 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | Laursen | +3.93 | 59 | 78 |
| #3 | Iskineseren | +2.75 | 48 | 62 |
| #4 | Giga *****_- | +2.69 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | Toxic Waste | +1.87 | 77 | 67 |





