








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 218 | 16% |
| Smokes | 341 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 383 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 412 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,292 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spray スプレー | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Aapi | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | mirool | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Texi | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | JoosePerkele | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Aleksiq | 59% | 22 |
| #7 | Kurkkuu | 54% | 13 |
| #8 | Selena's boyfriend | 51% | 35 |
| #9 | .niska | 40% | 5 |
| #10 | orava | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selena's boyfriend | 138 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | JoosePerkele | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Aleksiq | 55 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Texi | 21 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | mirool | 17 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .niska | +2.06 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Chief 0^*keef | +1.39 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | orava | +1.23 | 92 | 68 |
| #4 | JoosePerkele | +0.56 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | Aapi | -0.23 | 77 | 58 |





