








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
366 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,508 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 424 | 28% |
| Smokes | 434 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 287 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 363 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $57,175 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spray スプレー | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Texi | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | JoosePerkele | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | Aapi | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Chief 0^*keef | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Selena's boyfriend | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | Kurkkuu | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | .niska | 33% | 9 |
| #11 | ✪ LuukKkis'' | 0% | 2 |
| #12 | snock | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief 0^*keef | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selena's boyfriend | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | JoosePerkele | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chief 0^*keef | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Texi | 37 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | .niska | 32 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | orava | +4.12 | 94 | 63 |
| #2 | JoosePerkele | +1.61 | 89 | 60 |
| #3 | spray スプレー | +0.76 | 80 | 73 |
| #4 | Chief 0^*keef | +0.02 | 80 | 57 |
| #5 | Selena's boyfriend | -0.05 | 85 | 75 |





